you see...i do have one thing i want to do. i want to make a difference. it doesn't matter to me how small or large that difference is. it doesn't matter to me how many people i make a difference for. it doesn't matter to me whether the impact is seen or unseen. i just want to make a difference. i want to make a difference and have a positive impact on the homeless. one...two...or a hundred.....i don't care. but somehow, some way and in a quantitative manner, i want to help.
why? because i know and i understand. i've been there. i'm still there. i'm making progress and i won't be there much longer. but the memory and the experience and the lessons will always be there. i couldn't put them aside if i wanted to. they're a part of me now. i know what it's like when you begin to realize that there is a possibility you could become homeless. i know what's it like when you first become homeless. the confusion and panic and fear that accompanies that. i understand what it's like when you pass that fear and confusion and you begin to transition into the survival mode the first week or two. then you realize you can indeed survive when you sort out the places where you can find food and shelter and the very basic things of life. i understand what it's like to tell yourself that you won't be in that situation long, that you'll find a job and get yourself out of it. but i know what it's like when things happen and that job doesn't come along quickly and you settle into the homeless routine. you settle into a daily pattern of surviving and existing, constantly trying to find a way out. i understand what it's like as time passes and days become weeks that become months. i know what it's like when depresssion and the feeling of despair tries to creep into your life.....every day. you fight it...but it's relentless. it's always there trying to find a way in. it chips away at you....little pieces at a time. i know what it's like to wonder how you've been abandoned and forgotten. i understand that feeling that's just beyond your field of vision that if you don't stand strong every day and you don't keep aware, you will surrender.
but here's something else i know and understand. there's always hope...if you don't let go of it. there's always a way out....if you don't become blinded by the emotions and trials and hardships of being homeless. there's grace and humility if you don't give into the dark side of being poor and homeless. there's people who will guide you and assist you if you seek them out. often they will seek you out. they're there...waiting to help you. they're waiting to help you pull yourself out of being homeless. if you're a christian...god is always there also. you just have to stop...and listen...and try to find the path that he has already laid out for you. sometimes those people are the ones that guide you to that path. beyond that i think it's my duty as an american citizen, as a citizen of wilmington, as a human being, to help the poor and the homeless. i think it's my responsibility as a christian...you know what...beyond being a christian...just as someone with compassion and an ounce of morality.....it's my responsibility to help and give back and give someone hope.
that's why i want to make a difference. that's why i want to help the homeless. that's why i want to follow my aspirations and try for my goals. i want to ease the effort of finding that path for someone who's not as strong as me. i want to give someone hope that may not have any hope left. i don't want someone feeling like i did. i don't want someone being alone like i was.
hope......encouragement.....and knowing someone cares. sometimes it's more valuable than money.
see you around town